Humor

50+ Ways You Know You’re Russian When…

If you don’t yet, I come from a Russian culture which I am very happy and proud to be a part of. I look up to my ancestors who went through so many persecutions because they were Christians. I thank them for taking that hard road, so that today, I can be inspired by their faith in Jesus.
On a less serious note, however, Russians and Ukrainians also have some funny traditions and what not. For some entertainment, with the help of my husband and friends, we created this fun list:

You know you’re Russian when…

Your church parking lot looks like a European and Japanese car show

Your dad owns a track suit or 10

Your mom makes borsht every weekend

Every other salad is served with mayo

You have a huge collection of all the various teas out there

Your grandmother wears a kasinka to all public places

You speak two languages in the same sentence (maybe even 3 if you know Ukrainian from your grandmother)

You get invited to someone’s banya on the weekend

You hear about all the sales and discounts in all the stores

And you go to all the good sales too because it’s ridiculous to miss a good deal

You eat fish in 100 different ways on a weekly basis

Your wedding consists of 500+ guests

And your wedding has 74738826383 different dishes served

You dress up your Sunday best to go grocery shopping and to check the mailbox

You attend every possible youth conference and camp

You sing hymns and worship songs at every get together 

You plant a garden every year with all fruits and vegetables possible

Your mom makes green borscht (when there is shavel) and okroshka every summer

You have your own chickens and possibly beehives

You make kvass and fruit compote in the summer

Your house just might be 3,000+ square feet

Your typical snack consists of sunflower seeds and every get-together absolutely has to have them

You have heard at least one song by Alla Pugacheva

And you have seen all the episodes of “Ny Pogodi” and “Kot Leopold”

You know a brown Winnie-the-Pooh without a red shirt

You eat mom’s homemade bread with every meal

You know how to make every possible recipe using sausage

Your medicine cabinet is filled with herbs (some of which are mixed with vodka to bring out all the nutrients)

And you know all the home remedies out there for all illnesses

You bring pelmeni for lunch

You have 50 letters in your first and last name

You dress your baby in long sleeves and cap in the middle of summer because parents warn you of the AC blowing on them

Your mother packs you katleti for a road trip

Your curtains are lacy

You have a filled with many fancy dishes that never get used but are there for the sole purpose of decoration

Your dad has at least one cassette or CD of shanson music

Your mom saves all plastic and glass containers to use for other purposes (Russians are basically professional recyclers)

You have an uncle fisherman (or grandpa or dad or cousin)

You have at least 30 cousins

Your mom owns a collection of matreshki

You can always find sushki or ruziki to munch on in the kitchen

You know a handful of truck drivers

Your house was built by Russians

You went to Russian school on Saturdays to learn some proper grammar

Your first car was a Toyota or Honda

You remember the first time you tried caviar (and probably liked it)

Your mom made kasha every morning for breakfast

And soup was also served daily

Your mom makes you wear tapochki…even in the summer

You had a Cheburashka stuffed toy instead of a regular teddy bear

You played soccer with all your cousins at family get togethers

You played at least one instrument in the church band

And sang in the youth choir

Your mom always told you after the 6th candy “u tebya popa slipnitsa”

Your grandma’s house has a red & yellow oriental rug in the living room

Your mom cans tomatoes and cucumbers every summer

You call over friends just to have some hot tea

You know at least 20 guys named Alex and can name them from the top of your head

You eat onions and garlic, raw, and not necessarily in a salad

Have more to add? Share in comments!

You Know You're Russian When

Photo Credit: http://www.YevStudios.com

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