Communication · Forgiveness · Love

Expectations in Marriage

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Going into marriage, we all have certain expectations of how are spouse should be. We have preconceived notions of actions, words, and thoughts that our spouse should carry out in our life together. Some of these expectations we have because our parents did them or someone we held as a role model family. Maybe it was from Christian literature we read on being a Christian husband or wife.

However, these expectations could have come from other sources that could mislead us and cause much disappointment in our marriage. Today, we encounter lots of movies, TV shows, books, etc that do not always portray a healthy or realistic marriage.

When we imagine our perfect husband or perfect wife one way, and then things do not always go our way, we can become very disappointed. But in order not to be so crushed, it is vital to stop back and realize what are our expectations, and decide if they are realistic or not.

Realize that you are two very different people. Yes, there are going to be similarities. But don’t forget that those differences might cause conflict, and that is completely OK. However, learn how to deal with conflicts calmly and maturely, and most importantly, with prayer.

Realize that neither of you are perfect and both of you are going to make mistakes. When your spouse makes a mistake, forgive them and don’t hold a grudge. When you make a mistake, ask for forgiveness.

Realize that you need to communicate your expectations, and not just imagine them in your head, expecting your spouse to know what you want them to do. If you want your spouse to plan dates once in awhile, ask them to. Don’t just expect they’re going to take over. If you want your spouse to fold your laundry differently, ask them to. Don’t expect them to know how you like it done when you’ve never told them your preferences.

Him+Her Weekly Goal

If you feel like you had unrealistic expectations, try changing them to realistic ones. Voice your expectations.


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