Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29
We already discussed nagging when we want something, and how that drives our spouse away. However, there is another side if nagging that destroys relationships and causes wounds: nagging your spouse about their imperfections. Unfortunately, we all have our own shortcomings. These flaws can become something we constantly point out and nag our spouse about it.
When we try to change someone, we think it is something easy to do. However, before we expect another to change, we should try to change ourselves first. It sure is not as easy as it sounds either. Change takes time and LOTS of prayer for strength from God. Once we change ourselves, we can expect someone else to change. But until that happens, we can not expect another to change to our standard.
When we put our spouse down because they do not live up to our expectations, we tear down the communication lines. Yes, there are times for correction, but when we do it constantly and and in a negative way, we do not do it the Biblical way.
Hearing on a daily basis, “You’re not good enough,” will impact your spouse in a negative way instead of improving their “wrong” behavior. Naturally, we want to nag to correct. But the best course of action is to pray for your spouse and work on correcting our own flaws. We all have many, but when God’s love fills our heart, we give our problems to Him instead of taking matters into our own hands. Having patience for each other goes a long way in a relationship.
Discuss a trait you would like to work on and ask your spouse to pray for a that specific need.